A letter of condolences will be greatly appreciated, when a friend has lost a loved one, it is a great comfort to know that people are thinking of them. Although the best option is a personal visit, either at the wake or the funeral, sometimes that is not possible.
The condolence letter does not need to be long; A short and heartfelt condolence note will mean a lot to its recipient.
1) Obtaining the appropriate writing material
Find an appropriate card or paper. In most stationery stores, you will find greeting cards, there will probably be one that will serve you for this purpose.
Choose a card that you think the recipient will value most. Cards are often arranged based on the recipient’s relationship to the deceased. For example, if the recipient’s mother has died, look for cards that say “Mother’s Love” for example.
You don’t have to choose a card that specifically mentions a mother on it; However, you must make sure that he does not mention another relative.
2) Also consider writing on a blank card
You may not find a card that you like or that you feel is unsuitable for the recipient. You may find that the content of the card is too ornamental or religious or inappropriate for the situation
For example, if the recipient had a bad relationship with their father, it might be difficult to find a card that commensurate with the feelings of the loss. In that case, it may be a better option to write the letter on a blank card.
Most stores sell a wide variety of blank cards with different images on the cover. Be sure to select a card with a suitable image for a condolence letter.
3) Write your letter on quality paper
If you do not have time to buy a card or do not want, you can write a letter. You can use paper to write letters, but it should be of quality.
It shows the recipient that you took the time to write that letter, and the paper will help convey that thoughtfulness.
4) Write your letter with a pen or pen
Get a pen that you’re comfortable writing with, and that makes your handwriting look good. Take care that the ink does not smear.
Do not write with pencil as over time the letter will disappear
Take care of the penmanship of your letter, since you want the recipient to be able to read your thoughts.
Be sure to sign the letter with your name, and it would be a good idea to incorporate a sentence at the bottom of the letter.
5) Start with the condolence letter
This is not the time to write “How are you?” or “I was at the mall today and I thought I would buy a card.”
Start with your condolences. Identify yourself with the recipient and put yourself in their shoes to convey how you were connected to the person.
For example, you could write: “Dear Marta, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandmother” or “Pedro, I send you my deepest condolences on the death of your best friend.”
It is generally not appropriate to indicate the manner in which the deceased died. Don’t say “I’m so sorry your aunt died of cancer.” The recipient already knows what the person died of. This is especially important in cases of murder, suicide, or accidents.
Instead, point out how sudden and tragic the loss is.
6) Share a memory
If you knew the person who died, be sure to share a memory with the family member or friend. These stories will be precious to them.
Don’t feel like you need to tell a great story, or that if you only knew the person casually, you have nothing to share. A simple story, or a memory of how the person made you feel, will suffice.
You might say, “I remember seeing your father on his way to work every morning, very well dressed in his suit and tie, and always carrying the same leather briefcase.” It’s important for family members of the deceased to know that their loved one made an impact on others, even in small ways.
Make sure the story you share is a pleasant memory. Don’t write about the quarrel or some other unpleasant scene. As the saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.”
7) Highlight the memory of the loved one
If you don’t have any stories to share about the deceased, you can highlight the impact the deceased had on the life of your loved one.
For example, you could say, “I remember the picture of your grandmother that you had on your desk. I know she meant a lot to you.”
You could also say, “You always laughed out loud when you told stories about your brother. It must have been quite a character!
It can also indicate how much the deceased loved the bereaved. You can say, “I know your mother was always very proud of you and bragged about her son.”
8) Offer your support
Let the family member know how you will be there for them. Perhaps you can be emotionally supportive and a shoulder for them to cry on, or perhaps you would be willing to help them in a practical way.
Do not write “Tell me how I can help you.” Even if it is said with the best intention, since most people do not feel comfortable asking for help. Take some of the burden off them and contact them instead.
If you live nearby, you could offer to bring them something to eat, or do a chore around the house if possible. If you live very close, you can offer to sleep over to help them out at night.
You could also write to them: “I’ll call you next week to see how you are doing.” Remember that the recipient may not want to talk much while they are grieving, but you should still check in regularly so they know you are there for them.
